NONENITY ( Original composition )

You  can call it whatever , but this was a random  thought that  came out of my head just jot it down in a peace of paper and transfered it in  one of my photos I  took  in  Ocean  City , Maryland last  year.

NOTES:

Poem was written in  15 August  2013
Photo taken  in  8 October 2012   ( Ocean City , Maryland )

PHOTO AND POEM ARE ORIGINAL WORK !

Please do  not copy or share without my permission .

Thanks !

the WALL .... ( An Original Composition)

 NOTE :

I  usually write poems anything that's on my mind. This was was originally written in February  8th , 2009 in my  old date planner, and now I decided  to  share it here  in  my personal  blog .

It's hard to  let go,
Specially if you  had build your dreams together

That  no matter what  happens,
The two  of you  will  have to face the obstacles forever
Standing side by side as ONE

But the unexpected happened,
and you have to face the truth.

The ugly painful truth
You have to LIE
You have to PRETEND

And no matter what  you  tell  yourself,
It is one of the hardest thing

You'll ever had to  do ...
To forget the person , 
whom you have

CARED for
LOVED for

for all these years .

Ironic isn't it? 
the person who meant the world to you,
now becomes the person that  you  hated most .

You  go on circles , figuring out what  went on that  day , 
when GOODBYES were said .

You  thought of the right words to  say ,
But it broke down your  firm wall.

It broke your  heart 
and yes you felt so deeply  apart.

Stay Strong

Life is unfair that's a fact....

I  still  feel  numb from all the things I  had to  absorb the past few days ....

 It felt so  UNREAL to  me like a very  scary  movie or a freakin nightmare.

How I wish it is a nightmare, but it's not , this is something that  I have to deal  with  ... 

Crying is the only resort I can do right now , that  the puffiness of my  eyes can't be ignored anymore or even the  shades  of  a concealer can hide it ....

What  I  am going through  is like of that  story  out of a Spanish  daytime soap opera  , however, I have no clue if I  go  with the contrabidas or the  bidas of the story  , or I can be both ....

I  can scream and scream from the top of my  lungs all day  , just  to  release the  steam  I'm feeling inside.

Hyperventilation is one thing I  have to  fight to , so  I  wouldn't alarm everyone around me  that  causes any  more chaos in the house.

Got so  many  questions,  and I  know  that the right time to  get those answers ...

I tell  myself and breathe ... STAY STRONG

No Puede

NOTE: I wrote this poem way back in  2006 when my ex  had broken up with me hoping that we will  still  patch things up  ...

one of my   original creations

Enjoy!

I usually stare at the dark filled shiny dotted sky ...
then this round bright thing caught my eye...

I closed my eyes and thought of you,
I wonder what your doing
I wonder if you think of me too,

I miss the days you made me smile
I miss the nights you showed your thoughtfulness
I miss everything that  you  do
and
I specially miss you

 .... pero no puede enamorada con el

Sky { Orig. Scribbles }

Note : I wrote this poem way back when my ex  had broken up with me hoping that we will  still  patch things up  ...

one of my original creations and now sharing it to the world originally written in my doodle notebook way back in  2008

Enjoy!

as i stare at the  sky ...
then this  bright thing caught my eye...

i closed my eyes and thought of you,
i wonder what your doing
i wonder if you think of me too,

i miss the days you made me smile
i miss the nights you showed your thoughtfulness
i miss everything that  you  do
and
i specially miss you

really  miss you ...

Happy Mother's Day 2012

There are so  many  ways how  to say I LOVE YOU mom ,

 and ONE way  to do this ,  is to treat her in a good  Sunday lunch .
Since Mother's Day ended up  on a Sunday , me and my cosuins decided we would eat some yummilicious dimsum Chinese food.



Mom  loves seafood so here she is as we enter WOKANO  Restaurant

mom is having fun withe the Crabs 

        Mom  waiting  for our food :)

 Mom & cuz Maybelle 

The best way  to  enjoy a good  lunch is to start  with  HOT JASMINE TEA

 ( this is  one of the best  Jasmine tea I had , I mean brewed to  perfection )

He Fen (Rice Noodle Sheets) stuffed with shrimp

the ohh so crunchy  Jiao Yen You Yu (Fried Pepper Squid)

Roasted Peking duck

Shrimp balls

Fried noodles

After finishing our  lunch  we were headed to get some dessert @ and that  is the famous Bubble Tea 

this is what  we got  

WATERMELON : MOM

JACKFRUIT: TITA MINDA & CUZ KRIS

MOCHA:  MAYBELLE

TARO: ME 

While we got our drinks, I was amazed with this  cookie shaped like a flower 

and seems so  yummy  . I couldn't resist I had to  snap a pix of  it .

the food  was great and the dessert was fantabulous ... we will surely eat in this place again .

WOKANO RESTAURANT
 1100 Washington Ave, Philadelphia, PA

RIP Tito Boy

We got a call at around 3:30am when i suddenly can hear my cousins crying in the background and while I was talking to his  eldest  daughter, Kris Anne .....


I can hear her just  saying the words "ATE DADDY IS GONE !!!"


We frantically went to  Phoenixville Hospital in ICU area where he was rushed 


I really thought it was a dream , then it all hit us , he was really gone 


All I can do  is to comfort my cousins ( 4 girls to be exact )


then we all started calling our relatives all over  the country  and in Philippines .

The last time I saw him was this year's Thanksgiving ...

 before Christmas, I never thought that my family will be preparing a funeral

WE MISS YOU TITO BOY :(

[my dedicated video for my uncle is still in the works will post soon as i finished the MV]

CUTESY BITSY LOVE

[ illustration created by  lova_03]

Just  browsing around and then i saw this lil cute picture, it reminded me of how great  it is  to  LOVE and BE LOVE by  someone ....

Stages of a BROKEN HEART

 

Before anything else , I would want to make it clear that I'm posting this entry  just  for a mere recollection of what  it feels like to  have a BROKEN HEART.... and to  help  someone understand the stages of having a broken heart.

 I can  call  this  my  Little Memoir of my  one experiences with the so called thing about Love ....

LOVE and TO  BE LOVED by someone is such a wonderful  thing, however sometimes there are circumstances that  this uber happy feeling will become HISTORY ... and it just comes without any warning.

 Having a broken heart  is one of the worst  feeling you  could have experience as a person, nothing can prepare you  for it ... you  even go to a trance that   it feels like the whole world had stopped moving and it practically  makes you insane for quite some time ( from my  own experience I  should know nakakaloka! )


So  what  are these stages of a BROKEN Heart.

1. Denial - We tend to  deny  that  it's over as in over na talaga ang hirap idagest  ika nga sa tagalog , para ka mababaliw . So  if it helps , confide to someone whom you trust and can lend you words of wisdom.

2. Anger & Depression - We eventually have mixed emotions we are super angry of course that lahat na ata ng cuss words e nagamit mo na . Then there's the tendency  of staying away from close friends and even family members .

3. Stay away  from  the EX - We often hear people say,
" WELL YOU GUYS CAN BE FRIENDS "  hmmm ... I can say  is " YES " , if you are TOTALLY OVER him already na kahit iparada nya sa harap mo  na may  iba na sya , it won't hurt you not a 'lil bit .


 It is good to  be friends with the ex when you have HEALED completely and ready  to  be friends with him. But after a breakup it's not good to  go parading yourself in front of him because you have this notion that since you're thinking of him , maybe he is thinking of you too ( reality girls , guys are really different when dealing with their emotions ). You don't want to look like a desperada  every time you write to him, talk to him or visit his house, you're taking a step backward instead of forward.

4. Acceptance & Learning- To be able to truly move on, you have to fully digest what happened to turn the relationship sour. Identify the reasons that contributed to the breakup, what role you played in those reasons and what you will do differently in the future for a successful relationship. Don't beat yourself up. Relationships run their course for a reason, and they prepare you for the time when you actually do find Mr. Right. You learn with every experience in life, and breakups are no different. 

There are 2 quotes come to mind when healing a broken heart:

TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS
                          and
WHERE ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER ONE OPENS

two quotes that are  yeah cheesy,  but absolutely  true.

 While you may not be able to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel now,  the day will come when you'll know that your broken heart has officially healed and you can 
LAUGH OUT LOUD when you look back at those painful memories .

Remember WHAT GOES AROUND , COMES AROUND

Double Trouble

I thought I was just seeing double when  I saw the pictures of my  kumare and my  God daughter's Beach picture ....


Can't believe that  they were wearing the same dress may  mini me dress  ang inaanak ko na ubod ng kulet at kyoot!

Wow Mali

Most people have Facebook accounts , just to keep in touch with long lost friends .
Frankly , I hesitated to open one since I told myself that I'll only update JUST ONE network account and yes that  is my BLOGSITE & PLURK


However my friends from school and work had hesitated that  I'll make one, so I did just to keep in touch with friends in highschool .

I only visit my FB page maybe once or twice a month  LOL [ yeah that's how busy i am guys ]

I was able to keep in touch with 2 of my closest friends way back in college which   lives in London with their daughter Maren [ inaanak ko hehehe] .

then I posted some pictures of my other super cute inaanak in my account and some of my cousins even my kumare made a remark like this:

ANG CUTE CUTE NAMAN NG BABY MO ATE - by cuzin mylene

ATE SINU TATAY NYAN ANG CUTE EH! - by kumareng math

my  God Daughter Baby Jaevine Meika P. Defensor

i had to  reply to   this: OMG ! ANAK?!!! Wala pa akong asawa at anak hija !!!!


funny that some people just  makes comments without reading the captions underneath the photos.

Halos maloka na ako sa comments nila .

Well, she is cute naman talaga .

hah LOVE

the funny things about LOVE....

sheyt sana di na ako ma in love kase mahirap masaktan

nakakpagud umiyak

nakakapagud umunawa

lalu kung the other half DON'T EVEN GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL

In You Version 1

this poem was originally written in  2008 when i was still SO IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE


just want to re post it for my  original poem compositions .

the  words  I  said,

 meant everything  to  me.

 the  dreams I  had ,

 I  wish  I  could  share it  with you  someday.

the hopes I  wanted,

 I  hoped you'll  appreciate .

 your laughter had always  brought  a smile to  my  face.

 your  thoughtful  words, encouraged me to  believe.

in  you  I  found my  happiness.

 in you  I  found the true meaning  of  Love.

in  you  I   found someone .

 whom  I  would want  to  share my  life with

a person  whom  I  would  love to  grow old  with

 all  in  all i found that  in YOU.

the Pain Won't Go Away

 
[photo by  Piggygirlrocks of Devianart.com]

I  woke  up  this  morning with  the  feeling  of  emptiness inside me and
I  just sat in the little  corner of  my bed and started sobbing .
I  found myself just  walking toward the new football park  that  our  township had built .

It was quiet , it felt like I was in a another world just  so  peaceful...

With a lot  of  things had happened in my LIFE these past  months, it felt good to  be ALONE ....

Still trying to suck all what had happened with my "SO CALLED LOVE LIFE "

It was hard to comprehend ... as if I  was the one to blame on everything.

I wanted to  go home so  bad and patch things up, but this is so impossible to do.

How can I  make him stay and be strong for this relationship we had built together, when he decided  that it's all over.

those words he let go  stabbed me like a thousand times.....

I will  try  to  post more of  what  I'm feeling , but right now the emotions I  am feeling can't be describe by words .

It felt so  numb!







 

Old Wounds

[ photo by photoshopcreative.co.uk ]

From past  relationships  to the  next ,  we  sometimes  learn  from it  or  sometimes we DON'T we tend to  get BLIND  ,  from  the  promises to  the  false hopes .

Every  fall  we  learn to stand up on our  own  and  be  strong  all over  again  and  again , but  sometimes when we fall  it doesn't  mean  we  get stronger  ,   but  sometimes  it  opens  old wounds  that  healed  over time , wounds  that  remind  you  how  hurtful  it is  to  be  betrayed and  be stabbed  in the  back.

LOVE can  make  you  feel great !

Makes you  happy  and  seems  like  that  there's no  ending  to  it  but reality  is  ,  LOVE also  hurts  , and  yeah  it  hurts  bad! 

TEARS

  There are people that  makes a tremendous impact  in our  LIVES

  Some will make us feel the greatest  feeling of 
  JOY & HAPPINESS ....

  and

 Some will HURT you

 that  the PAIN you  feel

               is like a butcher's knife, cutting DEEPLY  to  the bones ...

                                            

  and

LEAVING  you  BLEEDING & DYING inside ....

YOU { Orig. Scribbles }

[ image BY   LollypopLyts   captured from  createblog.com ]

the sound of your voice cheers me up,

your comforting words lifts my spirits up.

i can't describe how happy i am,

how much joy you brought to my life all over again.

you're my inspiration,

you're my joy,

you're my everything i could ask for,

i'm so grateful with the LORD up above,

for giving me someone like you,

i can cherish for the rest of my life.

- jane