NONENITY ( Original composition )

You  can call it whatever , but this was a random  thought that  came out of my head just jot it down in a peace of paper and transfered it in  one of my photos I  took  in  Ocean  City , Maryland last  year.

NOTES:

Poem was written in  15 August  2013
Photo taken  in  8 October 2012   ( Ocean City , Maryland )

PHOTO AND POEM ARE ORIGINAL WORK !

Please do  not copy or share without my permission .

Thanks !

Matthew 5:44

I  have been  quiet  for the past  days that  I  had stopped  blogging again ,  it just  didn't give me the urge to  sit and write my  thoughts...

I  thought that  I  had passed all the test or obstacles that  God can shower me  through out my  growing up  LIFE , however I was wrong....

Yes I've been abandoned by SO CALLED FRIENDS who weren't there when I needed them most ... It HURT!

Yes I've been left  behind  by  the so called PRINCE CHARMING  , leaving me and let me hanging like an idiot  ... It HURT  (  it took  time for  me to recover  like Bella when Edward left  her in that  movie Twilight )

Yes losing my  job that  I  dedicated my  self into  for the past  6 years ... It HURT    ( unaware when will  I  recover financially)

 And then my mom diagnosed with Colon Cancer Stage 3 , IT TERRIFIED ME  ( the thought of loosing my  mom  to one of the most  leading form of cancers in the world )

These things  that  came my way ,  made me a stronger person , and just plain test from God.

However my  test  of  FAITH in  God is now in  question  as  my  Family try  to suck it all in one by  one things or circumstances that we all wish is just  a terrible nightmare .

I  want to  be angry

I want to  be mad

I  want to  cuss at people who enjoyed the suffering that  me and my family is going through  now

I  want to ask  the words WHY WHY WHY?

But here's one thing I'm sure of , that  God have  plans  and  have ways to  tell me  that  it will  be alright... that  I  have him  with  me at all  times despite of

the HURT
the PAIN
the AGONY

that I am feeling   the past  weeks and right now  and all I  can do  is FORGIVE.

the WALL .... ( An Original Composition)

 NOTE :

I  usually write poems anything that's on my mind. This was was originally written in February  8th , 2009 in my  old date planner, and now I decided  to  share it here  in  my personal  blog .

It's hard to  let go,
Specially if you  had build your dreams together

That  no matter what  happens,
The two  of you  will  have to face the obstacles forever
Standing side by side as ONE

But the unexpected happened,
and you have to face the truth.

The ugly painful truth
You have to LIE
You have to PRETEND

And no matter what  you  tell  yourself,
It is one of the hardest thing

You'll ever had to  do ...
To forget the person , 
whom you have

CARED for
LOVED for

for all these years .

Ironic isn't it? 
the person who meant the world to you,
now becomes the person that  you  hated most .

You  go on circles , figuring out what  went on that  day , 
when GOODBYES were said .

You  thought of the right words to  say ,
But it broke down your  firm wall.

It broke your  heart 
and yes you felt so deeply  apart.

Smile

The past  days,  I forgot  to  smile siguro dala ng daming problema na dinadala  ko  ngayon....parang hindi  na naubos kakabuhos  ni  LORD saken ng problems .

 Di  naman ako  nagrereklamo Lord pero  sunod sunod  lang kase  .

Yikes himala ata I'm blogging in  tagalog  which I  seldom  do.

Sa kakamukmuk  ko  lately naglabasan na lines malapit sa lipline ko and sa crow's feet.

Siguro  ganun talaga pag  may  mga problems ka hinaharap  you  tend to  forget to smile,   but  it's not a reason to  just mukmuk  and frown and naka kunot noo  ka  na lang palagi .

Sabi  nga nila there are no problems na hindi  mo kayang lusutan , but this one is I  can say super MABIGAT na I don't even know  where to  start and how to resolve it.

I  guess only time can tell ...

So  if you  do  see me around SMILING , I  may  look  happy  but  deep  inside I  got  a big problem  trying to  hide some pain I'm feeling inside .

Hays madrama na naman ... 'till then folks

What Keeps Me Going

Things are really   hard for  me right now,  but  I  know everything  will  be okay .

Stay Strong

Life is unfair that's a fact....

I  still  feel  numb from all the things I  had to  absorb the past few days ....

 It felt so  UNREAL to  me like a very  scary  movie or a freakin nightmare.

How I wish it is a nightmare, but it's not , this is something that  I have to deal  with  ... 

Crying is the only resort I can do right now , that  the puffiness of my  eyes can't be ignored anymore or even the  shades  of  a concealer can hide it ....

What  I  am going through  is like of that  story  out of a Spanish  daytime soap opera  , however, I have no clue if I  go  with the contrabidas or the  bidas of the story  , or I can be both ....

I  can scream and scream from the top of my  lungs all day  , just  to  release the  steam  I'm feeling inside.

Hyperventilation is one thing I  have to  fight to , so  I  wouldn't alarm everyone around me  that  causes any  more chaos in the house.

Got so  many  questions,  and I  know  that the right time to  get those answers ...

I tell  myself and breathe ... STAY STRONG

I'm Hurt . . .

 I don't know what I want in life. 
 I don't know what I want right now.
 All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside
      that it's eating me,
      and one day,
 there won't be any of me left. 

 - from REDNECK GIRL

no fable comunicazione ....

<3 <3 randomly wrote this in the top of my head just pouring how I so much hurting right now ... 

had to vent somehow, in able for me to breathe properly or else I'll really loose my sanity...

to others it maybe a simple thing, but to me , it's a BIG thing. 

Everything right now is crumbling , 

 I  think  i'm  loosing my  grip  , 

 So I  just  started sobbing ...

Felt so  all alone , 

even though there should be SOMEONE there for me

It hurts me more ,

to  feel  ,

 that I  don't exist ....

Do I ask too much of you?

Am I  too  much for you?

I try not to be clingy  

I try  not  to be a pain ,

All I want from  you is communication ,

that you sometimes fail to  give in ...

I know you're busy  too, 

I try  my  very  best  to  understand, 

but  what  hurts me more,

 no fable comunicazione .

No Puede

NOTE: I wrote this poem way back in  2006 when my ex  had broken up with me hoping that we will  still  patch things up  ...

one of my   original creations

Enjoy!

I usually stare at the dark filled shiny dotted sky ...
then this round bright thing caught my eye...

I closed my eyes and thought of you,
I wonder what your doing
I wonder if you think of me too,

I miss the days you made me smile
I miss the nights you showed your thoughtfulness
I miss everything that  you  do
and
I specially miss you

 .... pero no puede enamorada con el

Sky { Orig. Scribbles }

Note : I wrote this poem way back when my ex  had broken up with me hoping that we will  still  patch things up  ...

one of my original creations and now sharing it to the world originally written in my doodle notebook way back in  2008

Enjoy!

as i stare at the  sky ...
then this  bright thing caught my eye...

i closed my eyes and thought of you,
i wonder what your doing
i wonder if you think of me too,

i miss the days you made me smile
i miss the nights you showed your thoughtfulness
i miss everything that  you  do
and
i specially miss you

really  miss you ...

CUTESY BITSY LOVE

[ illustration created by  lova_03]

Just  browsing around and then i saw this lil cute picture, it reminded me of how great  it is  to  LOVE and BE LOVE by  someone ....

Tokidoki for Japan

 Last  March 11th at 2:46 p.m.

Japan was hit with a  10 meter high TSUNAMI & then a intense earthquake hit  the tiny  island. . . Now  a Nuclear breakout.

 When  it comes to  helping out I'm always  ready  to  lend my hand ...

i really would love to be in this  Relief run, but  I'm out of  state right now :( and i  live in the east coast  ....  It's good to know  i can still  help  out without doing the actual  RUN RELIEF , and just  buying this very  cute shirt and exclusively made by  the TKDK designer Simone Legno with  the collaboration and fund raiser Josh Duhamel  ( famously  known and recognized in the hit film ,  TRANSFORMERS ) .

 this  is not the   first  time Josh did a fund raiser, he did it also  last year with  the Haiti  earthquake victims and i t was successful  of course....

He is no just  a pretty  face but  also  with a compassionate heart =)

You can get this  shirt for $25 +  Tax !!!
and all proceeds go to  the US AMERICAN RED CROSS
what  a cool way  to help out and get a very  cute limited edition shirt :)

 no copyright infringements in this post all images are owned by  tkdk website and the relief run website .

hah LOVE

the funny things about LOVE....

sheyt sana di na ako ma in love kase mahirap masaktan

nakakpagud umiyak

nakakapagud umunawa

lalu kung the other half DON'T EVEN GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL

In You Version 1

this poem was originally written in  2008 when i was still SO IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE


just want to re post it for my  original poem compositions .

the  words  I  said,

 meant everything  to  me.

 the  dreams I  had ,

 I  wish  I  could  share it  with you  someday.

the hopes I  wanted,

 I  hoped you'll  appreciate .

 your laughter had always  brought  a smile to  my  face.

 your  thoughtful  words, encouraged me to  believe.

in  you  I  found my  happiness.

 in you  I  found the true meaning  of  Love.

in  you  I   found someone .

 whom  I  would want  to  share my  life with

a person  whom  I  would  love to  grow old  with

 all  in  all i found that  in YOU.

TEARS

  There are people that  makes a tremendous impact  in our  LIVES

  Some will make us feel the greatest  feeling of 
  JOY & HAPPINESS ....

  and

 Some will HURT you

 that  the PAIN you  feel

               is like a butcher's knife, cutting DEEPLY  to  the bones ...

                                            

  and

LEAVING  you  BLEEDING & DYING inside ....